The 12 days of Obsessive Christmas Decorating-day 3

You might have a Obsessive Christmas Decorating problem if;

If the timer that turns on your Christmas lights has its own satellite dish so it can synchronized its time to three different GPS satellites. For a backup the timer has it own Internet connection to the Navy’s atomic clock in Washington DC.

If you duck tape an umbrella over your inflatable snowman in the front yard to keep the rain from shorting out the 350 extra Christmas lights you packed inside him.

If each family members gets their presents wrapped in their own color. Then you take off all the blue wrapping paper because it causes depression. Then you take off the green paper because the color is too light and it clashes with the Christmas tree. Then you take off all the red paper because people might think it’s naughty. Now you’re worried about all the presents being wrapped in yellow paper.

If you love fruit cake and think that anyone who doesn’t just doesn’t use enough bourbon, before, after, and on the fruit cake.

If fellow office workers threaten to do very un-Christmas like things to you if you play that Mannheim Steamroller CD once more.

If you rig a photo cell light beam so that anyone walking up to the front door will breaks the beam causing the wreath on the front door to light up. The lights on the wreath are so bright that they stunned the mail person and she fell backwards off the front porch.

(Sung to the tune of “Walking In A Winter Wonderland.)
All the lights they’re a blinking, all the decorations are a twinkling, we’re listening to the song as we’re walking along, marveling at the Christmas wonderland.

Stay strong, write on. Professor Hyram Voltage

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